Handling of Biological Tension
Much has been written and discussed about the excesses of sexual activity in the recent past, ranging from Pre-/Extra Marital Sex,Rape and Incest to Pedophilia and Sodomy.
All the TV News Channels in India and abroad, after broadcasting the ghastly incident of gangrape on a paramedical student(named ‘Damini/Nirbhaya’for secrecy) and her fiance in Delhi in December 2012, which sent shock waves throughout the country and the world, are buzzing currently with scandalising and sensational reports about the Sexual Atrocities committed by the hitherto regarded as’Godhead’ Asaram Bapu and his son Narayan Sai on their female devotees, some of whom have now dared to accuse and expose the father and son of exploiting the girls in their ashram sexually since quite some time, for which Asaram has been taken out from his Ashram to stay under the ‘Ashray’ of Jodhpur Jail, from where he has now been brought back to Ahmedabad for further interrogation.His son Narayan Sai, is also arrested by the police,
While agreeing that the rising cases of sexual assaults on girls and young women, as also of Pre- and Extramarital relationships, are a matter of much concern, it is felt that there is another side, that is, of SEXUAL REPRESSION AND STARVATION of some people, especially young widowed/divorced women In India due to the taboo against widow remarriage and social prejudice against divorcees ; Or widows/widowers who are not able to remarry due to the responsibility of children for whom they don’t wish to bring a step -parent or because of whom they don’t get marriage offers,
As also men and women who are pledged to celibacy due to religious vows like Nuns or Sadhvis, and Monks or Swamis.
Their condition does not get the attention or sympathy of Society because most of them do not pose a problem to it, like rapists and rape victims do, but who often have to cope with a lot of biological tension within themselves due to the abstinence they have to follow.
Some persons cannot marry due to a physical handicap or disfigurement, so they get pity from other people, but the abstinence of the others mentioned above is taken for granted as a restriction adopted by them of their own accord or choice, though it is not always so.
There are some people like soldiers posted away from home, or those who have to live away from their wives and family for a long time to earn a living, and inmates of Destitute Homes ( as shown in the Smita Patil starrer’Subah’, a translation of the Marathi film’ Umbartha’ (Threshold), who are also starved sexually, but have to grope for their own way to manage their physiological stress, and if they do not find any proper outlet, may resort to aberrant behavior,viz. extramarital sex, rape or sodomy, or become victims of depression to the point of developing Neurotic or psychosomatic illnesses or in some cases, Psychotic disorders, or TB, or Suicide!
In yet another film, ‘Astitva’, produced both in Marathi and Hindi, Tabu has given a wonderful performance as the wife of an executive, who remains away from his wife for long periods, because of which she is lonely and sexually starved and eventually succumbs to the temptation of the Sensuous warmth and advances of her Music teacher, and conceives of him.When her selfcentred and suspicious husband comes to know about it,
He starts doubting and crossexamining her and creates an invisible, impenetrable wall of silence and distance between himself and her, which becomes so unbearable that the wife has no option but to finally leave him.
Now, whenever it happens that anyone of this group of people, mainly widows or saints, after following strict abstinence sincerely for many years, falls prey to temptation and passion, Society, particularly Indian Society, is quick to condemn them of ‘Immorality’.But has our Society ever tried to understand that any dam, if stressed by too much accumulated pressure or tension, becomes vulnerable to ‘break-down’ sooner or later? Of course, all the people following celibacy or abstinence do not resort to clandestine or illicit sex, but then, they often become prone to health or emotional problems like psychosomatic illnesses, depression or irrational anger!
I have heard of the case of a middle aged lady, who, after having had to Divorce her husband due to his impotence, wished to remarry, but could not do so, because of the prejudice against divorcees in our society.
She could not have a clandestine or live -in relationship with anyone either, because she belonged to a reputed family, for which such indulgence was taboo, especially in Indian Society of 45-50 years back. Ultimately, the lady became so depressed and desperate that she started telling her friends,
” I will give a thousand rupees to any man who will agree to have sex with me “, which alarmed her friends ; so they told her family members to keep
a greater watch over her, lest she might fall prey to some unscrupulous man, who may take advantage of her mental condition to lead her into a sexual relationship with him, and then blackmail and exploit her. Finally, the life of the lady ended tragically, when she felt that she could no longer handle her longing for marriage and sex, became a psychotic thereby, and ultimately committed suicide by selfimmolation !
It is therefore necessary to think of ways in which such people,many of whom are perfectly good persons who do not like to break social mores, can be helped to handle their biological tension by providing outlets to Catharise it through socially acceptable means.
(1a) In the First place, those who wish to marry, should be allowed to do so, wherever possible,for Marriage is the most direct and socially acceptable way to satisfy the sexual urge. Even Jesus Christ said to his followers that it is good if people dedicate their life to the service of God, but if anyone feels desire, then rather than burn, it is better that one should marry! However, for reasons mentioned above, either because of social or religious prejudices and pressures or domestic responsibilities, it is not possible for everyone to marry or remarry. In this context, I remember the English film,’ The Priest’s wife’, starring Sophia Loren and Marcello Mastriani, wherein they show the pathetic case of a priest or monk who falls in love and wants to be permitted to marry his lady love, but cannot do so because of his vow of celibacy.
(1b) Some persons try to relieve sexual tension by entering into Live – in relationships, or Casual or extramarital sex with anyone available whenever one feels the urge, but it is not desirable, as it makes a man or woman dependent upon, and at the mercy of another human being for his/her needs,and puts him/her to the risk of blackmail, financial exploitation, loss of social prestige, immoral traffic in the case of women and Unwanted pregnancy if safe contraception is not used, as also Sexually Transmitted diseases like AIDS, if one makes a wrong choice of partner. As there is no
Commitment of lasting companionship in such relationships, they are more prone to early and sudden breakups and heartbreak than marriage, and drive one or the other partner to the brink of suicide, as in the case of the film star Jiah Khan, who was in a live- in relationship with Suraj, the son of Aditya Pancholi and Zarina Wahab! ( Jiah’s mother, Rabia Khan has however lodged a case that her daughter’s death was not a suicide but a murder)!
It is thus very necessary to guide people who wish to remain free from such risky entanglements, about how they can deal with their biological tension on their own.
(2)One Natural way of reducing the tension, followed by many people,
is to take cold showers,and practise Masturbation, that is,
manual stimulation of genitals. This is a good and easy way to relieve
the tension, but some persons have reservations about it because of
the mistaken belief that it is bad for health and reduces the potency
of men.They need to be assured that there is nothing of that sort,
and that there is no danger to health / potency due to it.
It is also observed that Tension In any organ in the Abdomen or Pelvis, besides the genital system (Such as in the gastrointestinal tract due to constipation, consumption of salty/spicy food rich with onions and garlic,
or conversely due to hunger as a symptom of hypoglycaemia , Or else in
the urinary bladder and ureters due to retention of urine),is often perceived as sexual tension, and subside on eating sweet food, or passing urine/defecation. So a simple remedial measure like EXERCISE, in the form of walking, engaging vigorously in sports or outdoor nonsedentary games, which works out libidinal energy.
Or EATING SWEETS, which induce a sense of Satiety and drowsiness as also muscular relaxation after a meal of sweet dishes(but not spicy items, as they enhance appetite and arouse passions instead of quelling them),
OR taking Laxatives and Diuretics to relieve the tension in pelvic organs, can solve the problem sometimes.
So the Best thing to do, when one feels the sexual urge, which is also a kind of HUNGER, leading to psychological distress like Anxiety or Depression,
if not satisfied in reasonable time, is to ‘EAT A CADBURY and BURY the CAD!’
Else ,”IF YOUR PARTNER IS ‘BAHAR’,AND YOU CANNOT GO TO THE BAR,
DO NOT BECOME ‘BEKARAAR’; BUT CHEER UP, WITH CADBURY BAR !”
(3)Another method is the use of objects like Dildoes or manual stimulators manufactured in the shape of the external sex organs.
(4) A magazine published from US, ‘ Sexology’, recommends that people can also use Vibrators. Vibrators are shaped like Dildos, but are electrically(generally battery) operated gadgets that can bring on Orgasm,but are not harmful either. They are more popular in Western countries, as most Indians are too shy and inhibited to use them.
(5) I think it would be a good idea to have Biological Clubs or Centres like the general Health Clubs and Gymnasiums, with the various types of gadgets designed for both men and women, including Robots, made to look like Mannekins programmed suitably and specially for the purpose, and
With trainers to guide the users about their application, as well as psychotherapists to understand the Basic Problems of each person. However, this remedy too is likely to find favour mostly in Western countries or Metropolitan cities of India, not in traditional regions. It is heard that now, Japanese and Chinese researchers have prepared such a Robot or Mannekin which they call the ‘Sex Doll’. The Chinese have named their product ‘156’ according to her Lifelike size, which is fitted with a body made of super flexible material, so that she can be accommodated in a limited space, and move her limbs freely in various gestures. She is also conditioned to make seductive gestures, so that she appears almost Real ! She has been priced at $ 2500. She should be given a more erotic name than ‘156’, which sounds too commercial ! For example, ‘Helen’ or ‘ Cleopatra’, or some cute Chinese name ‘LinLin’, while The Japanese version should be named ‘Peony’, after book of Pearl Buck by that name. It is said that this Chinese doll is better than the Japanese ones, as it is made of softer and smoother material.
(6) It is heard that there are Drugs or medicines that tone down the Libido or sex drive to make it easier to control. The commonest known of these are the Muscle relaxant Sedatives like the Benzodiazepine group of drugs, but they are prone to make a person drowsy, hence are not of use during the daytime. There are also supposed to be drugs than can reduce sexual desire, which have an opposite action than aphrodisiacs that boost the drive like ‘Viagra’.However, such drugs like Calmpose over a period of time may lower the general drive of a person too, so they should be given with great caution and in minimal dosage to young people who have to live an active life,and are suitable only for elderly persons or for those whose life style is sedentary, like the Monks for example. However, it can be given occasionally when the tension is acute, but one should not engage in any activity requiring concentration after that, like driving or operating a machine.
(7) Therefore, it is necessary to make people aware of the fact that there is also a phenomenon named ‘SUBLIMATION’ of the SEX INSTINCT, that is, gratification of the Libido or ‘Id’, viz. the instinctual psychic energy, through non-sexual and socially acceptable channels, eg.some altruistic pursuit like Social Service, Teaching, or some intellectual,artistic, athletic/sport or creative activity like writing, painting etc.,which by themselves, occupy the mind and energy and provide release and satisfaction to the Libido without having to indulge in Sex ‘per se.’
The CONCLUSION is that while attending to the problem of sexual excesses, aberrations or crimes like rape, Society should also be sensitive to the biological and psychological needs of Law abiding people,and provide ways to enable them to relieve and Handle Biological tension Before it accumulates to the ‘Breaking point’ of loss of self control and thereby ‘loss of face’ in Society, Or development of mental illnesses like Neurosis of various types, such as hysterical ‘conversion disorders’,or Severe Depression leading to debilitating habits eg. Chain smoking or alcoholism, and in extreme cases as also in constitutionally predisposed individuals, to Psychotic reaction or Suicide, while some people succumb to wasting medical conditions such as phthisis or cancer, due to long term fretting!
God Forbid !