(16)Why are Men so obsessed with the Female body?

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In One Word, the Obsession of Men with the Female Body is the result of Sexual Repression, especially in Traditional Societies, by curbing the natural curiosity and inquisitiveness of children of both sexes to look at, touch and examine the private parts of the other gender on one hand, at the preOedipal stage of psychosexual development,that is around the age of 3 years of age and preventing their free intermingling thereafter.

Adults of traditional orthodox societies, and even of so-called liberal societies, push kids engaged in such elemementary observation of each others’ bodies, away from each other, with harsh, reproachful words like “Good Boys don’t touch girls’ privates, and Nice girls don’t allow boys to touch them ‘there’, or sometimes with abusive language and physical punishment, on seeing them looking at and handling each other’s genitals out of innocent inquisitiveness, just because grown ups feel embarrassed and uneasy by the sight, without understanding that boys and girls at that little age generally do not have any vulgar thoughts, nor go up to having sexual intercourse. So it is better that the Adults go away or look the other way. At the most, the children may be told not to play like that in public, but go to a corner or into a room.

Thus, adults unwittingly convert the perfectly natural sexual curiosity of children into a Sordid and strong, guiltridden ‘Fixation’ & unresolved OedipalComplex by making the innocent sexual play of children at the naturally right age-‘Forbidden Fruit’ !

It is common observation that the women, particularly of the labour class, in some states or regions in India, esp. on the Western Coast, from Mumbai to Kerala, go about with only a blouse and Loincloth,as among fishermen’s caste, while those of the farming community in Karnataka, cover themselves with only a saree tightly wrapped around their body from the chest upto the knees, with their arms and legs totally bare. Yet, not all men in the region seem to be provoked by their attire into staring at them lustfully, or attacking them sexually. How come? Because most of the men in the region have become accustomed to seeing them like that from their childhood and therefore to some extent desensitised to the body of those women. Hence, it is more often by outsiders that these women are molested or attacked than by the locals. 

The subsequent exposure of the youngsters to more knowledge of sex by seeing romancing couples and through sex education in schools, Either too much or too little or false, as well as provocative sexual scenes in films, converts the repressed tendency into an ‘Obsession’ , which is worsened by the strict restrictions on their mixing together as they attain puberty.

Some parents try to stop the children from self- orientation with the bodies of the other gender by making them bathe with the parent of the other sex, I.e.boys with their mothers and girls with their fathers, to put an end to their sexual curiosity, but I feel that this practice is not always helpful to the children, as both the parent and the child may feel uncomfortable to remove their undergarments before each other, with resultant unhealthy passions released instead!

So, the PROPER WAY to deal with this delicate phase is – To realise that it is a temporary phase or stage in a child’s psychological develoment which will pass away by and by on satisfaction of the children’s curiosity, and waning of novelty, without any residual fixation or obsession, (unless curbed abruptly and admonishingly), and let the children of 3-5 years see and learn freely on their own, the difference in the way the bodies of girls and boys are made; and on being asked, explain to  them the reason for the difference in a matter of fact way, viz. for procreation, without any lewdness or sermons on ‘Sin’, as well as allowing more freedom to boys and girls to mi as they grow up; but at the same time, making the youngsters aware that the sex organs have been given to us by Nature for a responsibility to shoulder, namely, to sire as well as to care for the New Life that emerges from the Man-Woman relationship of Sexual Intercourse !

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2 responses »

  1. Great article I must say! Wonder why no one else commented here. I have been worrying about this for quite a while, because I seem to become obsessed once in a while by both the female body and beautiful faces, which I then interpret into a story I feel fits to the face. Is there a way to cope with that as already a man of 22 years? Many thanks for the article !

    • I think this obsession is the result of almost all traditional societies’
      culture of keeping the female body, even of an infant and toddler fully covered and wrapped in a tight veil of secrecy, in the name of modesty and undue fear of her violation, so that no one can see, leave alone touch, her private parts. Even the sight of a little boy touching a baby girl’s genitals out of childish curiosity, in children’s innocent play, is met with stern admonishment by elders, though the little girl herself may not be much disturbed or offended by it provided that she is not physically hurt by it.
      This continuous inhibition of boys’ natural curiosity from childhood, due to projection onto little boys of indecent adult motives by prudish elders, leads to obsession with the thought of the female sexual organs and a strong yearning to gain access to them, namely the vulva as also the adult breasts, like the ‘Forbidden Fruit’, which may be acted out by some uninhibited and unscrupulous men through grave offences such as molestation.
      Therefore, I feel that if and when one sees little kids looking at, or touching each other’s bodies which is generally harmless before the age of puberty, it might be better for adults to ‘look the other way’ or ignore it, instead of scolding or punishing them and making them feel
      Dirty or Guilty! There is no need to embarrass or intrigue them with highbrow lectures on Sexual Intercourse or Reproduction at that age,
      or start bathing with the children of the opposite sex for satisfying their curiosity, unless they themselves ask for it. At the most, one may tell them not to engage in such intimate play in the open.
      As to your question about what to do about your getting obsessed once in a while with thoughts of beautiful female figures and faces,
      I think it is natural and normal for a man of your age, as youngsters of today are more exposed to such sights than ever before, so there is no need to feel guilty or worried about it, unless the obsession is so intense and persistent as to make it difficult for you to attend to your routine work, or drives you to do something socially unacceptable like molestation or surreptitious MMS/videography which is punishable by law, in which case you should consult a Clinical Psychologist or Psychiatrist.

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